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Greg Ridge

Prayer (Part 2): The Model Prayer

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.  (Matthew 6:9-13)

It may seem strange to you that this falls in part 2 of my posts on prayer. I just write my posts in the order in which they come to me. Don’t try to read any more into my statement. I don’t claim to have a greater insight into God’s will than anyone else. I am just relating my thoughts and meditations about my spiritual walk with the Lord. Many people will rightly point out that I don’t have a divinity degree and am not a formally trained preacher. I don’t claim to be any more than a simple layperson. I try to take what I have learned and relate it through my posts here. If you disagree, please, by all means, let me know. I would rather be corrected than go through life with a false understanding of God’s Word and Will.

My pastor, David Flagler, often comments that although referred to as the “Lord’s Prayer,” it is actually the model for praying. I agree with his assessment because Jesus prefaces this by saying, “After this manner ….” I have found books on prayer that use the passage to break down how we should pray. I will attempt to condense that knowledge into this short blog post. I assure you that there will be much that I will not cover in-depth. I hope that some of what I relate will improve your prayer life.

Our Father

This first part denotes the direction of our prayer: Our Father, which art in heaven. “Father” indicates a personal subordinate relationship with God. The fact that He is in heaven makes it plain we are not praying to an earthly father. It implies a loving relationship as well. There may be some who did not have a loving relationship with an earthly father. However, we all have a visceral need for such a relationship. How many psychological problems stem from a broken relationship with a father?

Even if we don’t have a good relationship with an earthly father, Jesus sets forth a better relationship with God as the Father. A good father is a loving, protective, wise, and powerful provider. God is the ultimate good Father. A good father also corrects us when we stray outside of boundaries. Sometimes the correction is mild, and sometimes the correction can be harsher. Discipline guides us into maturity. Much like our earthly father, we have some of our Father’s characteristics. God made us in His image I am glad that Jesus brought to light this more accurate image of God as our Father.

Hallowed

One of the preachers whose sermons I love to listen to is Paul Washer. So if you disagree with the emphasis I place on this part of the model prayer, I invite you to listen to this sermon. Why did Jesus instruct us to pronounce that God’s name is hallowed? Hallowed means holy, sacred, and revered. When we come before God, we should do so humbly, recognizing the holiness of God. Why is it important to step forward with this attitude? When we acknowledge the holiness of God, then we are in a better position to bring proper supplications before Him. Some state that we should pause after this pronouncement. The pause fixes His holiness in our minds before we begin with the rest of our prayer. His holiness is what separates us from him. His holiness is why Jesus had to reconcile us to Him. “But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags;.…” (Isaiah 64:6). Even when we are at our best, we still fall short of the holiness of God.

Kingdom Come

We should pray that the world acknowledges the sovereignty of God. Notice that I did not say that his kingdom is established. The earth belongs to God. All of the world belongs to God. When we pray: “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven,” we are calling for Christ’s return. We express our desire that God’s will be done here because we know that is best for mankind. We pray for His will to be done on earth. We should also pray, in our hearts, for His will be done in our lives. Sometimes, we become so focused on what we desire, what we want, that what God wants becomes secondary. Placing His will above ours helps us to live better lives. God’s will is done in heaven. We should hope that His will is also done here on earth.

Our Daily Bread

This part of prayer is what we typically think of when we talk about prayer: our needs. Jesus told the disciples to pray for their “daily bread.” Often we worry over the future and how we will live next week, next month, next year, or even when we retire. Jesus emphasized not worrying over those future needs. Remember the parable of the rich man who built had a bumper harvest and set out to build new barns? He was not guaranteed tomorrow, and neither are we. Jesus said: “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?” (Matthew 6:25) We should pray for our needs today.

Does that mean that we should never think about what we will do in the future? Absolutely not. Jesus does want us to plan for the future, but he does not want us to worry over what we will eat or drink or where we will get clothing. These are mundane and everyday details that might change in a short time. His parable about the rich man was about what is truly valuable. In that case, sharing his wealth with those less fortunate and storing riches in heaven would have better served the rich man. God is not against plans; He has plans for each of us.

Forgive us our Debts

Now, this isn’t our financial debt (though you might need to pray for relief in that particular area). It is our debt of sin. Some translations have this as forgive our trespasses. Our debts or trespasses are those things that we have done that separate us from both God and others. I like the way James put it: “For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.” (James 2:13) God calls us to show mercy, to show grace, to forgive. Hasn’t God shown us great mercy in forgiving us our sins? It is easy to lose sight of the importance of forgiveness. We often feel justified in pressing our right for justice. That is why I like the second part of this verse: “mercy rejoiceth against judgement.” There is greater joy in giving mercy than in getting justice.

Jesus demonstrated his great wisdom by adding in the second part: “as we forgive ….” It is like saying, God forgive me in the same way that I forgive others. If we keep that standard in mind, we will give others a lot of grace, for we need that grace ourselves. This point is an excellent time to take our sins before God and lay aside any need for justice for the sins committed against us. Start with forgiving others before God, and sometimes it will help you give that grace when you face the person who hurt you.

Lead us not into Temptation

Some people confuse this portion and think that God is the one who is tempting us. God does not tempt men. However, God can order our steps to avoid temptation. It is better to avoid temptation because giving in to temptation moves us away from God’s plan for our lives. We don’t know what situations might take us into the paths of temptation, but God does. In praying for God not to lead us into temptation, we make a conscious request for help to avoid situations that might lead us astray.

We also should pray that God “deliver us from evil.” Satan or his minions don’t necessarily tempt us. James said: “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.” Temptation comes primarily from our own lusts or overpowering fleshly desires. However, Satan does move against us. We need God to deliver us from his designs. You might think you can beat Satan, but only a fool would pit themselves against Satan. We need God to overcome Satan. We need His help to win. Pray for that victory.

For Thine is the Kingdom

Once again, we should acknowledge where the power to answer prayers resides. We pray because we know that God can answer our prayers. We pray because we need God’s help in living in ways that bring glory to God. We acknowledge His sovereignty over not only our spiritual lives but also over this world. We also recognize that His rule is eternal. God is God. Unbelievers do not acknowledge that He is. They refuse to yield to His authority. They choose instead to follow their own unrighteousness. Remember: “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Amen.

So be it. When we end our prayers with this word, we are adding an emphatic statement that it is not only our desire but that we affirm that it is what we believe. Have the courage of your convictions and stand on your belief.

I hope that you have gained some small measure of appreciation for the model prayer. I hope that you will endeavor to be more purposeful when you next kneel to pray. If you did not gain any greater appreciation or understanding for prayer, I hope you will share this post with someone you think might. As always, if you find anything objectionable or downright wrong with what I have posted here, please let me know.

God Bless and Keep you.

Prayer (Part 1): Does it work?

I recently heard a sermon in which the preacher said God always answers prayers in one of three ways: Yes, No, or Wait. As I considered his sermon points, I began to think about how all the times I felt that I wasn’t getting an answer to my prayers. I know that prayer works because I can recall several times when something happened, which I know was an answer to prayer. Skeptics would attribute this to happenstance or that maybe I acted in such a way that my prayers came to fruition. Skeptics would point to the fact that some prayers seemingly go unanswered, but do they? I understand that to address this subject completely would take more than just a simple blog post such as this. There have been whole books written on the subject. I am sure there have been series of books written on the subject of prayer. My purpose in writing this post is not to address all aspects of prayer but maybe invoke some introspection about prayer and perhaps garner some answers from those more experienced in this subject.

LA LA LA LA LA LA

Have you ever tried to talk to a child who did not want to hear what you said? They might cover their ears and try to block out what you are saying. They may make nonsensical noise like the title for this section. Are we like that child trying to block out the answer we don’t want to hear? Jonah didn’t like what he heard from God and ended up in the belly of a whale. You might say that you aren’t like a petulant child. Are you any better than Jonah, who behaved like a petulant child? Before you get sanctimonious about me comparing Jonah to a child, read Jonah chapter 4.

We would be wise to remember Proverbs 28:9: He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination. When we try to turn our ears away from God’s instruction, our prayers are an abomination. So when you decide you don’t want to hear what God has to say about how you live your life, why should you be surprised that he doesn’t answer prayer how you desire? Don’t despair, though; God gives us the promise that he is merciful:

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

The same mercy that God showed to Nineveh can also be ours. We need to humbly confess that we have been like that petulant child and repent (turn away from the sin and turn to God), and he will show us the mercy he wants to show. We may not like the answer or God’s instruction for us, but we need to realize that His will is the best course for our lives.

Looking for Spectacular Answers

Sometimes we expect God to act in miraculous ways in answer to our prayer. I think of Elijah when he was in a cave depressed because he thought he was alone following God’s will, and Jezebel sought his life. If you think that you can’t get depressed remember, a lot of God’s prophets suffered from bouts of depression. God sent a great wind, but was not in the wind; He sent an earthquake, but he was not in the earthquake; He sent fire, but he was not in the fire; ” and after the fire a still small voice. ” (1 Kings 19:11-12) We often look for God’s answers in some spectacular form. However, God moves in ways that we do not see. We are not always the center of God’s solution. God had preserved another 7,000 faithful in Israel. We don’t always see how God will answer our prayers.

We don’t have to be the ones to accomplish His will. We often want to see the results of our prayers immediately. That is the consequence of the immediate fulfillment we experience in the modern world. Remember, though, God’s timing is always perfect and is not always accomplished through a fiery display. I dare say that sometimes we want to be able to say that we accomplished something. Perhaps that is why God chooses not to use us at times: We would become puffed up with pride over what WE did instead of recognizing that God is the one who accomplishes His will. What is more important: that God’s will is done or that we are the ones who bring it about?

I would also include in this section that sometimes we ARE how God wants to accomplish his will. But, do we do anything to fulfill our prayer? You want a job, but are you doing everything that you can do to get a job? You want a relationship, but are you open to all the possibilities for a relationship? You want somebody to be saved, but when is the last time you were a witness to them? Sometimes, we need to put some legs on our prayers to see them come to fruition. We pray for our daily bread, but does that preclude us from doing anything to get that food? We need to take action in faith to see the answers to our prayers.

Better not to ask

I watched a Christian movie in which one of the characters confessed that he did not ask God for anything for himself when he prayed. He had suffered a great disappointment in his life where God did not answer the prayer as he wanted. As a result, he was angry with God. He reasoned that you couldn’t be angry with someone who doesn’t exist. So, he decided rather than be disappointed with God’s answers; he would not ask for anything for himself. I could pull out James here and say, “ye have not because ye ask not.” However, I think it is more practical to point out that God desires to answer our prayers.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Sometimes, the only thing that we have in answer to our prayers is peace with what happens. Once again, we don’t always get the desired answer, but God gives us what we need. I recall when my mother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease, passed away. A brother in Christ noted how quickly she passed. Those of you familiar with the disease know that many times the people with Alzheimer’s linger for a long time suffering from the effects of diminished capacity. I did take her to church for a while before she became too incapacitated to go at all. I could have lamented how unfair it was that she suffered from the disease at all. However, I choose to look at the mercy God showed through her passing. Though it was quick comparatively, it was paced sufficiently to allow us to come to terms with her passing. She did not suffer needlessly, and she is now in a much better place.

If we look beyond what our own desires might be in a situation, we can sometimes see the mercies of God working in our lives. If a Christian person is healed, it is only temporary because we all will die one day. If a person survives a horrific accident, will that person become embittered by the injuries and debilitations they endure as a result? We might wish to see them survive, but what if their survival means an estranged relationship as a result? We don’t know why God allows things to happen, but we should look for His mercies in every situation. We should still make our supplications known but accept the mercies that He does grant to us.

Ye ask amiss

Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. (James 4:3)

This verse points out that sometimes we ask for something that God does not give because it fulfills our lust. Lust is an overwhelming desire to satisfy our flesh. Typically, lust is sexual in nature. However, in this context, it could be any fleshly desire. Too many times, people equate prayer with rubbing a bottle and being granted a wish from a genie. How many people pray to win the lottery every week? If they won, what would they do with the money? Some might do some good works with a little bit of money. However, the vast majority of the money would be consumed in “riotous living.” Lottery winnings finance dreams of cars, mansions, boats, and exotic vacations, usually with an entourage of “friends” willing to help spend money.

“God, if you would just let me have that girl/guy for a mate, I would be happy.” How many times has that prayer been sent toward heaven? This is simple carnality. Often, when the desired relationship begins through no intervention of the Holy, lives are destroyed because the basis was not holy at all but purely sensual. We might protest that we are lonely and want companionship. However, how many times have eyes been turned aside by another pretty face or strong shoulder?

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  (Matthew 6:33)

We need to put God first. Before we start looking for satisfaction through the world, we need to satisfy God with our lives. The Bible does say that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. (Proverbs 18:22) A wife, or husband, should not be the object of our desires. When a marriage helps both be better Christians, then God has blessed the couple with a fulfilling relationship under His design. The objective should be to serve God better.

I have listed several reasons that we might not hear or see an answer to our prayer, but there are others. These are just some that I was able to reason out in this short blog posting. I don’t have all the answers as to why God allows some things but not others. His wisdom is greater than ours. Does that mean we should not pray? By no means. We should share our lives with God. We need to share our thoughts and desires with him and ask him to help us bring those thoughts and desires in line with His own. I do ask you include me in your prayers. Ask Him if it is His will that I continue with this blog that he might bless my efforts and allow me to see some fruit. My desire is to communicate what I think He would have me share in a thought-provoking and reassuring way.

May God bless and keep you.

Prayer (Part 2): The Model Prayer

The State of our Nation

So one of my Facebook friends shared a story from the Putnam County Sheriff’s department. A hapless individual bought some methamphetamine from a drug dealer and subsequently “had a bad reaction” to his illegal substance consumption. The mental giant felt that it was untoward that someone should be selling such a detrimental product and contacted the Sheriff’s department to file a complaint. Ever willing to be helpful to the public, the Sheriff’s department told this upstanding citizen that they would be glad to test the product for him. He just needed to bring a sample in for testing. Feeling that he might finally get the justice he desired, the citizen complied. The department helpfully tested the sample, and sure enough, it was methamphetamine. The Sheriff’s deputies immediately informed the citizen of his rights and placed him under arrest.

If you are laughing right now, I am with you. Yes, this is what is known as stupid people doing stupid things and getting stupid prizes. However, I decided to take a look at the comments in reaction to this particular posting. Many people like myself thought the incident justifiably entertaining. However, others took exception to the fact that the police saw fit to arrest the citizen.

Some called it entrapment. Wrong. Entrapment is when a law enforcement agent induces an individual to commit a crime that they would otherwise not commit. The individual had already engaged in his illegal activity. It was not unlawful for him to bring the narcotic to law enforcement for testing. Deputies charged him with possession of an illicit narcotic. The police did not ask him to buy it. They did not sell it to him. He bought the drugs and thought it was the responsibility of the authorities to regulate the quality of illegal narcotics. I am sure that the judge will consider if he helped remove the dealer from whom he made his purchase.

Others did not see anything wrong with his possession of an illegal narcotic. These people come from the school of thought that anything that doesn’t “hurt” someone else should be legal. The same attitude implies that people will do what they want; it doesn’t matter if it is illegal. Funny thing about this position: it never takes into account the ruined lives of not only those who engage in that activity but also the harm it causes to their families and communities.

Sin taxes and “legal” sins

There are many “legal” avenues of sin. The government often subjects those avenues to what to a “sin tax.” Governments collect additional taxes ostensibly to offset the additional costs to the community to regulate the activity. When we legalize an activity, our communities absorb more damage for which we cannot account. How many families have suffered from the effects of alcoholism? What of accidents caused by intoxicated drivers?

Pornography is another “legal” sin. Pornography is considered “normal” in some circles. However, pornography serves to desensitize a person to others. It transforms people into objects of pleasure and dehumanizes them. Many will object that what happens between consenting adults is between those adults. The objection doesn’t account for the damage done to purveyors of smut, nor damage to their relationships, both present, and future. How many women suffer from body image problems because of the oversexualized images seen every day? How many people are reduced to a photo on a dating app then dismissed for arbitrary reasons?

Another consequence of our surrender to the collection of additional taxes for sins is that we fail to address the underlying problems of those sins. We think that providing additional services for the community fixes the issues introduced by the vices. We fall into the trap “I pay taxes for good of society.” Yes, taxes should benefit the public square, but how often do those programs become employment programs? The public employee is now a huge voting block in our country. How does this entity warp our society to serve its own ends?

The Danger of Governmental reliance

When you think “the government should take care of that,” you dismiss your obligation to address the need. You are also giving up any restriction that you might place on persons benefitting from the “help” from the government.

Many churches withdraw from traditional roles in community service because they cannot compete with the government, which places no constraints on aid. The no-strings approach and the government’s visceral need to intervene have led to the homeless situation in California. The government raised taxes to pay for programs that enabled irresponsible behavior of individuals. The additional taxes led to higher prices for goods and services in the state. Property owners raised the rents, and the costs of property likewise increased.

More individuals began despairing of any promise of a future because of the growing hill to be climbed. Some of these individuals fell into the “legal” sin activities to gain some small amount of relief from their impoverished lives. These “legal” sins had more consequences for individuals and the community, necessitating more relief without strings from government agencies. A greater need for services meant a greater need for tax money to pay for those programs. More significant taxes led to less giving to charitable organizations, including churches that normally help some individuals.

The government attitude is that there are always more people that can be taxed, especially in the “Golden State.” While it is true that there are many wealthy individuals in California, there are also many more impoverished individuals, both spiritually and monetarily. Jesus told us that we would always have the poor. Spiritual poverty often leads to material impoverishment.

You may note that what started with a simple story posted on Facebook has led to a lament on the conditions of a state. A ship does not sink from just a teaspoon of water or even a bucket. But if there are billions of teaspoons or thousands of buckets of water poured into a ship, it will sink. If there is a leak and no one tends it, the ship will eventually succumb. Yes, it was just one story about one individual, but remember all those people who lamented the police’s actions instead of laughing with the rest of us. There is a leak. What are we doing to stem the tide?

“Dating” as a Christian

I approach this topic with some reservations. As a Christian who has gone through divorce, I feel like I failed a test. Whether that test was one that was administered by God or man (or woman, if you want to be semantically correct), I don’t know. I would like to explore this topic, dating, a bit and I would appreciate any feedback that you might have on this subject, whether you are married or not. I will lay out what I see as the “musts” from a Christian perspective and then what I see are some of the problems with “dating” as a Christian.

Who should a Christian date?

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (II Corinthians 6:14)

This is a primary requirement that any Christian who is contemplating entering into a relationship with another person to which a Christian should adhere. We have all heard it at least once if not several dozen times. If we “date” someone then, as a Christian, they should be a Christian as well. I would like to add a caveat to this maxim: they should be a committed Christian. That is to say, that they should not just “talk the talk,” but also, “walk the walk.”

There are many instances where a “Christian” will give lip service to faith to be acceptable to a potential partner. We have all seen cases where a person suddenly begins attending church because someone in whom they have an interest also attends church. That is not to say that person is not a Christian, they may be, but if they are basing their participation in a church on who else is there, are they really doing so out of a personal relationship with God, or are they doing it for a personal relationship with a person. This brings up another foible: if we tell a person we will not date them because they are not a Christian and they become a Christian, how do we know that they are truly a Christian? It is for these reasons that I have added that caveat of a committed Christian.

A couple will not “succeed” unless there is a third party in the relationship: Jesus Christ. The primary reason for “dating” should be aiming for a marriage relationship. One of the aspects of marriage from the Christian perspective is the passage: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mark 10:9) For God to join a couple together, He would have to be a part of the relationship. This means that there should be evidence of the couple’s commitment to Christ. They should readily enter into worship and service for the Lord both together and separately.

A second reason that God should be at the center of any relationship is an essential element for any successful relationship: Love. “God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” (I John 4:16b) We know what true love is because of God’s demonstration of love for us. Additionally, husbands are given the command to love their wives: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25) It is interesting to note that husbands are commanded to love their wives, but there is no admonition to wives to love their husbands. Perhaps that is because God knows that when a man demonstrates a true love for his wife she will respond in kind. Maybe it is because men are not naturally demonstrative of their feelings that God included this passage to encourage men to show their love to their wives. Regardless, if God is not in the hearts of a couple then there may not be a true, lasting love in the relationship. It is God that knits together the hearts of a couple.

How far is too far?

 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.  (I Corinthians 6:18)

Sex is a natural part of a MARRIAGE relationship; it should not be a part of a Christian’s relationships outside of marriage. Yes, it is something with which men and women struggle when dating. I can attest that even as I am writing this that Satan is whispering, “hypocrite” in my ear. I have heard many of the modern arguments and justifications for including sex as part of an unmarried relationship: compatibility, natural, old-fashioned, backward, societal norms, sexual repression, etc. They all sum up to one thing: “what I want is more important than what my faith calls me to do.”

Sex is a beautiful act that God reserved for a relationship between a husband and wife. Sexual relations deepen the bonds between the husband and wife and causes the couple to be more committed to one another. You might argue that is why it would be good even before a marriage. However, marriage is a commitment, a covenant under which a man and woman are blessed by God. Without that covenant, sex can cause damage to the attitudes and long term well-being of the couple. It also cheapens the value of future relations that they might have. It introduces an element of doubt to the psyche that perhaps a partner might not keep their vows within a marriage. After all, if my partner was willing to sin before marriage are they less likely to commit similar sins even after we are married?

When dating, Christians should have a discussion about this subject. Of course this discussion would ideally take place fairly early in a relationship, but when dating the Christian must set boundaries of what is too much. That raises questions about what is acceptable behavior. I have known “Christians” who took the position that line was at intercourse, but I would submit that is well over proper boundaries. Like lines on the road, boundaries are to keep people safe. I think that the Holy Spirit will naturally give us pause if we listen, but it is better to know what those boundaries are before we ever get there in the heat of the moment when we are less likely to listen.

What does a dating relationship mean?

With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  (Ephesian 4:2-3)
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18)
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: (Hebrews 10:24)

These passages reflect for me what a good relationship would properly reflect: being unified in the Spirit, complementing one another, encouraging one another in service to the Lord. The first is being in agreement with one another about what God would have you do together. A couple should naturally seek to serve God separately, but they should also seek opportunities to serve Him together. I like that the first verse includes a provision for patience as that is needed when coming to know one another. It is easy to dismiss a potential partner because of a minor difference. Potential partners should approach one another openly, seeking to understand if God’s will is for them to be together. There is no being “right” or “wrong” if both know themselves and what they want. There is only if they are “right” or “wrong” for each other.

In Genesis, it is recorded that the reason God created Eve was so that he would not be alone, but have “an help meet.” I like how this was translated in the King James version. The couple meet one another. They are equal partners. They help one another. I find in this passage that a good pairing would allow each partner to gain in the relationship. It is easy sometimes to expect one partner to subordinate their desires to the other. This was not how God designed men and women. An ideal partner would complement the other, lifting one another to be better than what they are alone. It might be that a woman gives the man a greater understanding of how to interact with others, to not be abrasive. It might be that he gives her the confidence to take on projects that she might shy away from due to a lack of confidence. Or she may give him the confidence he needs to take up a ministry position. God has plans for all of us and sometimes he provides someone to help us accomplish those plans.

The last aspect of a good relationship to me is that partners would encourage one another in their service to the Lord. They should “provoke unto love and to good works.” If you are not a better person for being in a couple, then perhaps you are not with the right person. Dating should push us out of our comfort zones and into areas that we may have never considered. That is not to say that we engage in unbiblical activities, but that we would see more areas of outreach. We should also be “nicer” people. When you are reminded of God’s love by the love that you have in your relationship you are more apt to help others and be more genial.

What do you think of my reflection on “dating?” Are my expectations of the dating relationship too great? Do they not go far enough? There are many that think that “dating” should be carefree and have no expectations involved. I might agree for the first two or three dates. But if we are to be serious about God then I think being too carefree about dating might diminish our walk. I am sure there are other things that might be included, but I wanted to limit this to the essentials of what dating should entail. I hope that this post will give you some food for thought and may help someone in their walk with God.

God Bless and keep you.

The Importance of Fatherhood

I have prayed over this post for quite a while. I have been considering how to approach this topic since I posted about Mother’s Day well over a month ago. There are many things that I could write about what Biblical fatherhood entails and how it applies to our society today. We know that fathers are important to the long term well-being of children. Those children with biological fathers in the home are less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse. They are less likely to run afoul of the law. They experience lower levels of violence in childhood. Simply put, fathers are very important. I could also decry how our modern feminist culture vilifies the role of the father in the home likening him to a toxic influence on children and society as a whole. I could do a whole series of posts about these and other topics. However, today, I choose to focus on what Paul wrote in Ephesians:

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."  Ephesians 6:4

This verse of instruction from the apostle Paul gives concise instructions on how a father is to raise their children. The first instruction is an admonition to not provoke your children to wrath. Why would Paul lead with this instruction? Due to our nature as protectors of the home we sometimes give dictates even from a well-meaning place of protection that rubs or irritates our children to the point of defiance. We also might, with fleshly short-comings, favor one child over another which might invoke a feeling of resentment in other children not so favored. We all want the best for our children and sometimes we are guilty of pressuring our children down paths in life that have more to do with our own wants and desires than with what is best for our children. Yet another way of provoking a child would be to minimize their achievements. We are human and sometimes we are even jealous of the gifts and abilities with which God has blessed our children. Finally we might also selfishly lash out at our children through verbal and even in some cases physical abuse. Of all the many ways that we can provoke our children, this is the most obvious and perhaps the most telling of the condition of our own hearts. The leading admonition to not provoke our children to wrath is meant like all of the law to be a mirror to our own shortcomings, or sins. As a father, we should carefully examine ourselves daily in how we treat our children and place this behavior under God’s sovereign will for our lives.

The second, part of this verse tells us to bring up our children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Now we typically think of nurturing as a characteristic of a mother, but Paul clearly states that we are to be nurturing toward our children. To nurture is to care for and encourage the growth or development of our children. When coupled with the last part of the phrase, “of the Lord,” we see that we are to care for and encourage the spiritual development of our children. Wow. What a responsibility that has been laid upon us. We are responsible for the spiritual development of a relationship between our children and our heavenly father. We are to act as God’s representative in our children’s lives. Admonition is to give authoritative counsel or warnings to our children. It is not our own authority that we wield, but that of God’s authority. I don’t know how else to take such weighty responsibilities as these but to do it with care and prayer. The first position that person, who is exercising the authority of God, should be on our knees before Him sharing that burden with Him. We may be exercising His authority, but we will be answerable to Him of how we exercised that authority. We need to seek His wisdom through the scriptures and reflect what we learn through the scriptures in our lives with our children. We are to show God’s love in our hearts to our children.

I often state that love is not just an emotion, but it is meant to be an action that we take. We choose to love. We choose through our actions to show love for others. What is love, but wanting the very best for those that we love. Forgiveness, caring, encouraging, showing affections, supplying needs and sometimes the desires, providing affirmations, being attentive, all of these are loving behaviors we should engage in with those that we love. Love is reflected not in how we feel, but what we do and how we act. Anyone can say those 3 words: I love you. However, the truth of those words are born out through our actions. If we are to show God’s love to our children, we must engage in those loving behaviors that allow our children to know that there is love beyond what this world can show. This is what the Biblical standard of fatherhood is and what we should strive toward. We may fall short (and we will), but nevertheless we should always strive forward.

Thank you for taking the time to read this meager reflection on fatherhood, and may God richly bless you.

A Dose of Reality: Chauvin and Waters

As I write this post, I realize that there will be some negative feedback from those on both sides of these issues. I have read many comments on both sides and I want to inject some of my thoughts. The two issues that I am addressing in this post are the conviction of Derek Chauvin in the death of George Floyd and the failure of the Democrat party to hold Maxine Waters responsible for her reckless statements at a rally in Minnesota. 

Derek Chauvin:

Derek Chauvin was a Minneapolis police officer who was videoed while he had George Floyd in custody. The video shows Chauvin kneeling on Floyd who was cuffed and in a face down position. The video sparked nationwide protests due to Floyd’s death while in custody. Reports state that Floyd had a pre-existing heart condition and that he had dangerous levels of drugs in his system. Might Floyd have died anyway due to these factors? Perhaps, but does that alleviate Chauvin of his responsibility for Floyd. Chauvin’s lawyers tried to make the claim that Chauvin’s actions were in line with his training. The jury disagreed with this assessment and returned guilty verdicts in the charges against Chauvin. Many protest that the jury was biased against Chauvin. Many protested Floyd’s death over the summer last year. The defense had the opportunity to drop those jurors biased against Chauvin. Undoubtedly, the defense will offer this argument in the many appeals they will make going forward. 

The real question, I feel, is this: are police officers responsible for how they treat suspects they have in their custody? Society answers this question, yes. There are many laws on the books which dictate how prisoners are treated. Derek Chauvin chose to ignore the pleas of the crowd saying that Floyd could not breathe. Could he have avoided conviction if he put Floyd in a seated position and more closely monitored Floyd’s medical condition? Well, it certainly would have helped his case. We ask a lot of our police officers and rightfully so. We give them great power and with that power comes a greater measure of responsibility for how they exercise that power. There will always be post-incident quarterbacking and there should be in each case where there is injury to either a police officer or a suspect. Chauvin chose not to respond to Floyd’s distress. Now he is paying a heavy price for his failure to assume his greater responsibility. 

Have there been cases where a prisoner uses medical distress as a way of resisting authority? Absolutely, but that does not alleviate the responsibility for a police officer to address those issues. In fact, it is important that if a police officer feels that he is losing his sense of concern for people and begins to see everyone not in a uniform as an enemy, then he needs to consider stepping back and reconnecting with the people he is serving. My hope is that Derek Chauvin is not subjected to even greater punishment while he is incarcerated. Should he serve time for the conviction? Yes, convicted people should serve their sentence. However, can he be free from jailhouse retribution for being seen as an enemy? Let us pray that he is kept safe from such retribution. 

Maxine Waters

Related to the issue of Derek Chauvin is the failure of the Democrat party to hold one of their own responsible for her reckless statements. This past weekend, Maxine Waters, a congressperson from the state of California, attending a rally in Minnesota. At that rally she remarked that they were “looking for a guilty verdict” and that if one was not given then the protestors should “get more confrontational, we’ve got to show them we mean business.” Democrats in the House did not support a censure resolution that was brought by the Republican leader in the House. Did Maxine Waters’ statements rise to the level deserving of censure? I would argue that they do. When taken alone, the statements seem innocuous; however, when you remember the “protests” of last summer resulted in billions of dollars in damage across the nation, her calls to be “more confrontational” border on reckless incitement to riot. Her statements do not uphold the system of which she is a part. We must have trust in our judicial system. When a member of Congress undermines trust in the judicial system by condoning violent protests and riot, then they are violating the trust that is given them with their office. 

Why did Democrats fail to censure Maxine Waters? Politics, pure and simple. The Democrats wield the power of the mob to enhance the power they hold in government. If people fear what might happen if they do not vote for a certain party, then that party gains more power in government. If people fear what might happen if they voice their opinions, then they are more likely to keep opposing opinions to themselves. Does this support a healthy democracy? It is important that all viewpoints are expressed without fear of retribution, especially physical retribution. I might disagree with someone’s opinion, but do I want to force silence on them? No, I want them to voice their opinion and allow me to voice my opinion so that we might come to a better solution to the problems that face our society. When one party seeks to silence the voices of others, then they do not truly believe that their positions are supported by the people. That is the great danger that our society faces with the cancel culture that is being used by both parties today. (More so by the liberal side than the conservative.) 

Should we seek to express support for those whose positions with which we agree? Yes, but that is not to say that we should destroy the lives and livelihoods of those with whom we disagree. Can a person hold a wrong opinion or make insensitive statements? We are all human and we all have baggage. If I have a “wrong” opinion, then perhaps you should try to point out how my opinion is wrong through statements supporting your opposing position. You should also afford me the opportunity to refute those statements with my own positions. That is how we grow as a society. In understanding how others see the world, we gain a greater insight into practical solutions to those problems. If I try to enforce my opinion on others, then I have become a tyrant. This country was founded on the principle of opposing tyranny. If you do not agree, read the Declaration of Independence sometime. 

What do you think about these events? Do you think I am wrong? Feel free to respectfully post a comment below. I, of course, feel that my thoughts are reasoned and principled, but that is my opinion. Can you see how the responsibility that we have comes with the positions that we hold in society? That might be something that you should consider. I hope that you have a good day. God Bless.

What is a mother?

Mother’s Day is May 9th this year. Just a heads up for those of you who realize keeping up with dates is a shortcoming. (I include myself in that number, so don’t be offended.) What is a mother? We often recognize a mother as a woman who has given birth to a child. While that is true, I think the definition should be broadened a bit. We attribute motherhood to those women who give birth to a child because of the characteristics we associate with those blessed women. Mothers demonstrate love for their children through their caring devotion to the needs of their offspring. They nurture those children to be the best person that they can be. They make sure that the children are well fed and promote their health by making sure they are clean and have good hygiene. They listen attentively to the stories that their children tell of their days. They give a comforting hug when there is pain. They give a smile when encouragement is needed. Sometimes they express disappointment when a child does not behave in a manner that is acceptable, sometimes with the “look,” sometimes with sterner discipline. They can be staunch defenders of their children (hence the saying don’t come between a mama bear and her cub). These are all characteristics with which we associate motherhood. Do only mothers exhibit these characteristics?

My answer to this question is no. There are many women who exhibit these characteristics for children who are not their biological offspring. How about those women who are not able to have children of their own, but exhibit these behaviors toward nieces and nephews? I know of several examples of these types of women. How about those women who choose to teach little ones? Don’t they also demonstrate the mothering instincts when fulfilling these roles? I have heard of many instances where a nanny demonstrated greater mothering attributes than the biological mothers. What of the grandmother who cares for a grandchild because the mother is unable to do so whether because of emotional, mental or physical issues? How about the mother of adopted children or foster children? What about women who work with children who are placed in group homes? Motherhood is more a role in life than a biological function and we should honor all the women who have played this role in our lives when we celebrate Mother’s Day.

Do all mother’s meet the ideal standard that we recognize as motherhood? Sadly, no. Some struggle to fill that role. Should we think less of the struggling mother? No, we should encourage her and celebrate what she is able to do. If you have a “mother” who has failed to fulfill that role for you sufficiently, don’t blame her for her shortcomings. Be forgiving, and give grace to her. Love her. Recognize those women who do step into that role in your life and honor them for that effort they put forth. The fifth commandment and the first that is not directly about your relationship with God is to Honor your father and mother. It is also the first with a promise: “that your days may be long….” How do we honor mothers in our lives? We give them respect by listening to them. We show our love and appreciation for them by doing what we can to ease their burdens. This Mother’s Day show your appreciation for these women in your life by taking the time to give her a hug, calling her to say thank you, send her a card, take her out to dinner, maybe bring her some flowers, clean a room for her, go to church with her, sit down and watch a movie with her.

Why should you wait for Mother’s Day to do this? After all, there are many days between today and May 9th. Truly, every day should be Mother’s Day. As a person whose mother has already passed on to heaven, I choose to honor her by doing these things for those women I see filling the role in our society. Our church is having a Mother’s Day potluck and I will be doing my best to prepare some dishes for the women in our church with all the love and care as I would for my own mother. Maybe you don’t cook. What can you do to show your appreciation?

I welcome any feedback that you have for my blog post. If you wish to make a comment below, or if you wish to send me a private message through Facebook messenger, I would appreciate it. If you think I have missed any characteristics of a mother, or if you just want to celebrate those women in your life who you see filling this role, please feel free to post in the comment section. I welcome you to share this post with anyone you think would appreciate it. If you feel the need to make a negative comment about motherhood, I invite you to keep it to yourself or send it in a private message. I want these comments to be positive and honoring for mothers.

Thank you, God Bless.

The Importance of Culture, Pt 2

Last week, I shared my views of how we, as Christians, should react to culture: with Godly Love. This week I would like to share what I think our Christian culture should embrace. As a basis of this assertion I rely on Paul’s admonition in his letter to the Philippian church:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.  The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

We see what the world embraces every time we turn on the television to watch popular prime time television. What would not have been allowed on the air 40 years ago is celebrated whole-heartedly by today’s culture. Oftentimes even Christians embrace the culture. In my last post I made a point of stressing that we need to love people with care. However, I did not really address the culture itself. Today’s culture presents an unhealthy picture of what is important. When you read through posts on Facebook, you only see the best pictures of a person’s life. There are even filters available to make you look better by fuzzing imperfections. The beautiful sunset or sunrise over a landscape is shared, but you see nothing of the personal struggles that person goes through on a daily basis. Many people attempt to hide information about themselves that they think might make others look down on them. If you flip through a magazine or catalog you see beautiful people with beautiful smiles seemingly without a care in the world, but substance abuse and personal problems of the rich and famous are also fodder for the paparazzi who pursue them. When someone is “rich” then it seems that they have no problems, right? Wrong. Troubles follow us no matter how it may seem from the outside. Everyone is seeking after the quick fix for their problems in today’s culture: the new diet, the newest fashion, a new relationship, a new job, a new car, a new house, the perfect pet, the perfect child, a better school, the right friends….

If you listen to today’s media driven culture then image is everything. Ecclesiastes opens with this statement: ” ‘Vanity of vanities,’ says the Preacher; ‘Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.’ ” (Ecclesiastes 1:2) The Preacher in this statement shared an important point about image: it is meaningless, empty. Jesus asked: “What does is profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?” (Mark 8:36) Jesus pointed out that materialism is not the answer we should be seeking. John warned us about the cardinal points of temptation and sin: “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (I John 2:16b); his warning that these things are of the world and not of God is a admonition against being drawn into worldly pursuits. We have ample warnings of the futility of following with the world’s culture.

What of Christian culture? What should a Christian embrace as values? I refer back to Paul’s letter to the Philippians. What things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of a good report, virtuous and praiseworthy should be of value to the Christian. These inspired a positive testimony in Pliny’s letter to Trajan in which he gave this account of early Christian behavior:

That they were wont, on a stated day, to meet together before it was light, and to sing a hymn to Christ, as to a god, alternately; and to oblige themselves by a sacrament [or oath], not to do anything that was ill: but that they would commit no theft, or pilfering, or adultery; that they would not break their promises, or deny what was deposited with them, when it was required back again; after which it was their custom to depart, and to meet again at a common but innocent meal,

contained in a letter from Pliny to Emperor Trajan

If only the worst that could be said of Christians is that we come together early, sing hymns, and pledge to one another not to violate commandments but keep our promises and pay our debts, and share a meal, then I would say that Christian culture is not altogether bad. That should be our culture. When we concern ourselves with the things of this world then we go astray. I would encourage every Christian reading this post to support your fellow Christians in their endeavors. Buy from a Christian store owner, read Christian authors, watch Christian programming, and frequent Christian restaurants. Does it mean that because these are Christian businesses that they are free from the world’s influence? Not by any means. However, if we are holding one another accountable for what we produce and how we do business then the testimony about us should be similar to that of Pliny’s of early Christians. As we live, our conduct should reflect truth, nobility, justice and purity. Will we be perfect? No, but our lives will be better for our pursuit of these values. I can think of worse things to be condemned for than that of being a virtuous person.

So, when you are browsing Facebook (and, yes, I am on Facebook, too) or are watching primetime television (I am guilty of tuning in occasionally as well), remember that you should balance that time with worthwhile pursuits like reading scripture, praying, and, of course, ministering to those in need. Take a little time when you are watching that beautiful sunrise to reflect on God’s grace; take a walk and contemplate how you can show God’s mercy to others; read a book that inspires you to help those in need. This is true Christian culture. Remember: the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost….(Romans 5:5b)

God Bless and Keep You,

Greg Ridge

The Importance of Culture

I have been considering how culture impacts our lives. How should we, as Christians, interact with the culture in which we find ourselves? We often hear of culture in generic terms such as corporate culture or something being refined as being cultured or even pop culture. Merriam-Webster has as its first definition: the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; the second as: the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization How do I react to the cultural elements that are in opposition or not in sync with what I believe? Jesus said: “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” The world here includes what we define as our culture. Things that are popular, events that we as a society view as important, attitudes toward each other, how and why we gather together are all elements of our culture. There will be times that the world hates me. That is alright if it is hating me because I am reflecting the glory of Jesus. How exactly do we, as Christians, reflect that glory?

We are bought with a price. That means we are Christ’s; we belong to Him. How we act should reflect that light that is him. When we are faced with the world’s corruption, the world’s love of sin and celebration of self, we should stand steadfast in our love for the individual souls that are before us even though in our spirits we are reviled by the decay we see. I think of how Jesus did not shy away from the lepers he encountered. Leprosy is an insidious disease which eats away at the flesh of those who are afflicted by it. Even though Jesus encountered lepers who had lost parts of their bodies, he embraced them and offered them healing. Each of us is infected by the disease of spiritual leprosy. We are deadened to the sores which cover our souls just as the leper can’t feel his sores. If we could see ourselves through God’s spiritual eyes, we would be repulsed by what we saw. Jesus sees us through our disease and he loves us in spite of our repulsive condition. If our Master can embrace us, can we not embrace one another? That is not to say that we accept the corruption we see. Even though Jesus came to seek and to save those that are lost, he also didn’t pull any punches in dealing with an individual’s sin. When Jesus forgave sins, he also gave the admonition to “go and sin no more.”

Often times a person today will react to a Christian and say “don’t judge me.” How they react reflects how they feel. When faced with our iniquities, we often feel shame. Many modern therapists try to obfuscate those feelings of shame by attributing those feelings to societal pressures and norms. The desire to “be free to be who you are” is often a desire to feel no shame for our sins. I would submit that shame for our sins is not a bad thing. It forces us to examine ourselves and our selfish motivations. It forces us back to the cross to be forgiven, to remind us of our station with Jesus. He loves us and he wants us to have abundant lives. For us, we should not render condemnation for the person who is sinning but realize that they have the disease of spiritual leprosy. It is a disease with which we all struggle. The only cure comes from Jesus’ gracious healing. How can we condemn someone for a disease which we ourselves also have?

When you are treating someone who is sick, do you tell them they have to take care of themselves without offering any help? We should expect a person who is sick to take what measures they can reasonable take for themselves, but if someone is bedridden do you really expect them to be able to get up and take care of their waste needs for themselves? In the same way, we should not expect someone who knows only the barest details of the Bible to be able to live a life in compliance with God’s will. God graciously meets each of us where we are on the road of faith. He also walks along side us and points out where we should go (He is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Psalm 119:105). That is not to say that he dictates to us, for God has given us free will. That means that he does not compel us on the path of righteousness. He only shows us the path and encourages us to take that path. If God has the grace to allow us our free will, what gives us the right to attempt to curtail the liberty which God allows?

How does the Christian interact with the culture in which he/she lives? It should be as a light, gently and humbly offering guidance for the path that God has given us. It is tempting to shout back at a world that is doing its best to silence our voices, but “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) Now that is not to say that we should be a doormat for anyone who opposes us, but it does mean that we should be careful (full of care-not cautious) of how we react to the hate and vitriol that is directed toward us. Remember, Jesus told us that the world hated him and he tells us that the world will also hate us if we are his. Jesus is our guiding light. He gave us the example of how to deal with those that hate us-with love. He did not compromise with sin. He dealt with sins as a physician who is treating a disease. He treated the disease with care for the patient (sinner). The best way to learn how to deal with those who hate us is to read and re-read the stories of how Jesus chose to live his life and how he interacted with the world. We should also join ourselves to a group of faithful believers and seek to encourage others to live lives as an example of what it means to be Christian. Will we be perfect? No. Does that mean that we should not try? No. The Christian life is not easy. Easy would be to follow along with the world. However, with God’s grace and help we can hope to live in ways that bring glory to God and points others to Jesus and the cross.

I hope this post gives you encouragement to try just a little more today. I also hope that you have just a little more patience and a little more love in your heart for others. It would be easy for me to rant about the things that I see wrong with our culture, but I feel, at this point in time, that it is better not to point fingers, but to open arms. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. May God bless and keep you. -Greg

The Importance of Culture, Pt 2